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Lyrics Girls Not Grey

What do you think of these lyrics?

OK the first thing some background, and this song is not finished. But I went on a trip mission to Jamaica and theres a lot of poverty and establish a camp for poor children there, and this song is about one girl Abagail. once done im bad record and publish it in my youtube page …. http://www.youtube.com/user/ybbil204378 I can see history in Abagails theres dark brown eyes weighing and depth of his gaze, but she did not mourn, but in their eyes begin to fade to gray desire had the opportunity to pull aside and say Chorus: Hold On Abagail, hold on, do not know you're doing out here? but until then, do not give in this is a struggle, you have to win, you know that you will win? someday …

I think it's a success. You will have to extend the lines, but it would be nice to have music so it could fit the words.

AFI GIRLS NOT GREY WITH LYRICS